We had no idea where to find the prenuptial he assured us he’d written when he remarried five years before he died or how to unlock his phone and computer to find contact info for friends and colleagues we knew would want to be at his memorial. He’d been organized enough to get his will and trust signed and notarized in his late 60s, but those documents only told part of the story. When my father contracted pneumonia and died after years of living with dementia, my sister and I had little insight into the particulars of his life. If you’ve never had to do such a thing, spoiler alert: When someone you love dies, shutting down his or her life can take a year or more. Ruth’s card file box didn’t make it any easier for the Byock children to say goodbye to her, but it did make handling the material aftermath of her life a lot easier. One woman told us she wants to leave her eulogy for husband in the file, so she can pay homage to him even if she goes first. Plus, there’s a lot of imagination you can bring to bear that will give your When I Die file a deeper purpose than a list of account numbers. It may sound morbid, but creating a findable file, binder, cloud-based drive, or even shoebox where you store estate documents and meaningful personal effects will save your loved ones incalculable time, money, and suffering. What Ruth had compiled was what we call a “When I Die” file, and it may be the single most important thing you do before you depart. “It was a Jewish mother’s love for her children.” “This was not a Buddhist master’s awareness of death,” Ira Byock says. It was as though their mother had baked them one last batch of kugel from beyond and left it waiting there for them to arrive. What Molly and Ira found instead took them by surprise: Inside, their mother had carefully organized all of her papers, including the account numbers, pending transactions, and a bundle of other documents they’d need to settle her affairs and distribute her belongings.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |